This work represents, as the title in Italian suggests, my whole self, the total me and at the same time a totem (of which "me-tot" is the anagram and the palindromic). It shows my spiritual alter ego in the physical world: Valentina, who had always stood aside, alien and denied, finally taking her place in the world. The structure of an easel (another element traditionally used by the painter that I enjoyed "emancipating") holds - instead of the usual palette - a mirror reflecting the top of the work, a manifestation of my essentially reflective and introverted nature. The upper part of the easel supports the "head": an assembly of semicircle metal slab, treated stocking ladders (corresponding to the face and gaze), wood (top of the head symbolizing rationality) and coloured terracotta (hair, creativity, upward expansion). The figure is well rooted in the ground through the three legs of the easel;however,the mirror provides it with a view of the ceiling. The coloured cones of the hair put the structure in contact with the sky as the fronds of a tree put it in relationship with air. It is a timeless effigy, which proceeds from the eternal past to the infinite future passing through the present. It reflects an image of myself that - through Buddhism - is manifesting itself here and now with all its past experiences and future possibilities. The causes and conditions that led to the creation of this work were my Buddhist meditations on existence. Discovering, reliving and accepting my suffering as an undesired daughter have marked my path as a human being in this world. "Me-tot" is the visible result of those experiences and the transformation they have generated in me. The transformative power of human beings is such that from the greatest suffering they have the power to create something valuable. Buddhism explains this principle of "turning poison into medicine",which I have experienced and am still experiencing in my life. In this work, I conveyeda new Valentina, transfigured after the revitalizing bath consisting of Buddhist practice, the Valentina who is not afraid to live as she is. The content of the work is transformation:both a physical and concrete transformation of the easel and the objects that make up the self-portrait and an emotional transformation of a human being from ugly duckling to swan, that is, from a dependent and weak person to an independent and solid woman. What is transient in this work is every single part of the ensemble, which could have different shape and colourwithout changing the nature of the object. What is original is the essence, that is, the ensemble of the parts and its emotional and mental functioning. Within my life, this work is a pillar, a cornerstone of a journey that has lasted many decades towards a life worthy of being lived. It is a personal point of arrival: the full acceptance of myself as I am and the sense of my value as a unique and unrepeatable individual in this world. Over time, my cats have torn apart the easel on which "Me-tot" and part of its "body" stood. I accepted thatcircumstance and hung the remaining part – that is the “head” - fromthe ceiling. My cats have, unwittingly, definitively freed the "Me-tot" from its earthly, low, concrete roots and transported it to the element that belongs to it: aerial, tall, abstract. Now "Me-tot" no longer rests with its feet on the ground, it belongs to an ethereal, subtle world. Finally, it has conquered a broad perspective, a magnificent vision. Now it is no longer obliged to look downstairs (in the mirror) in order to stare at the sky. It can freely turn its gaze towards unlimited spaces and times. In fact, the action of my furry flatmates helped elevate the life state of the "Me-tot"; itgot rid of the heaviness of an overwhelming and oppressive reality conditioningevery aspect of its existence, as I myself was trying to do at the time. Now "Me-tot" is finally in its own element and can perform its function lightly.

Con il tempo i gatti hanno divelto il cavalletto su cui si reggeva il “Me-tot” e parte del suo “corpo”. Ho accettato la situazione e ho appeso al soffitto la parte rimanente, cioè la “testa”. L’opera dei mici ha definitivamente svincolato il “Me-tot” dalle sue radici terrene, basse, concrete e l’ha trasportato nell’elemento che gli compete: aereo, alto, astratto. Ora il “Me-tot” non poggia più coi piedi per terra, appartiene a un mondo etereo, sottile. Finalmente possiede una prospettiva ampia, una visione magnifica. Ora non è più costretto a osservare il basso (lo specchio) per poter conoscere l’alto. Può liberamente volgere lo sguardo verso spazi e tempi illimitati. In realtà l’azione dei miei coinquilini pelosi ha contribuito a elevare il “Me-tot” di stato e a liberarlo dell’oppressione di una realtà schiacciante e greve che condizionava (come per la sottoscritta) ogni aspetto dell’esistere. Ora il “Me-tot” è finalmente nel suo elemento e svolge la sua funzione senza pesantezze.